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Jokes On Physics

One day, a group of physicists were invited to a party. When Archimedes heard about it, he was so buoyant that he jumped out of his bathtub and announced the news to everyone. Coulomb had to charge him with indecent exposure. Newton initially did not move, but once he forced himself to go, everyone else seemed to also gravitate towards him. At the party, it was found that Watt was the most powerful speaker. Young, on the other hand, tried to be coherent but interfered with everyone else.Ampere talked mostly about current events which Ohm tried to resist.Lenz tended to oppose anyone who tried to change his ideas. Tesla had a magnetic personality but not as wide an area of influence as Weber. It washeard that when Faraday and Weber got together, they can sure generate a lot. Meanwhile, Becquerel was beaming with activity. Hooke also had fun becauseit was an extension of his natural self. Pascal didn't enjoy much because he was under a lot of pressure. Bernoulli was less pressurised-his secretwas to move quickly. Shy de Broglie just stood at one corner and waved toeveryone. Rutherford formed a close nucleus with his associates, he doesn'tlike scattering. Avogadro was counting the time: six on Oct the 23rd,he said. At the food table, Thomson was seen to enjoy only plum pudding.Planck tried to grab food in quanta, but Bohr would only allow him to take certain levels. Careless Milikan dropped his Italian oil dressing. Hertz went to the buffet table every second, while Farad (short for Faraday) preferred to store things up. Hall probed into everything on the buffet table but Celsius just went for the ice and the steam. As for Kelvin, he had absolutely zero intake. Boyle and Charles gave a lot of gas after eating and claimed that it was only ideal. Einstein protested that everything is relative.

 

THE SPEECH ---------- A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here's his dynamite speech : Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son. We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher. I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Joy Hind!"

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